Had a pretty bad day lately. Had a fight with my mom and so now, we're not in talking terms...again. Just wonder wat did i do wrong. So tired of her childish arguments. Tired of all this.....U knoe, most mothers would be close with their daughters. How come mine's not?? Is it my fault??

"Have you ever feel like everyone else is against you and you are left standing
all alone? Well I have...everyday. But today is worst than the yesterdays.
Sometimes I do wonder, why is it that they hate me so much? Maybe I am evil.
Maybe I do deserve all this. Maybe I am like what they say I am. Maybe...

But I too would like to be treated as a daugther, as a family. Why is it that you
always spit and despise me like as if u haf already disowned me? What wrongs
did I do to earn such humiliation, such abuse?

Maybe I'm just overly-sensitive. Maybe it's all my fault. Maybe this is how all
daughters should be treated. Maybe she's just trying to teach me. Maybe...
In times when u really need them most, they're all gone. In times when u really
need a shoulder to cry on, there's none left to be use. In times when u really
need someone to run to and pour out ure feelings, all doors are closed. In times
when u really feel like dying, there's no one to save u.

I'm all alone...

again."

Wrote that 2 days ago,the day i fight wif my mom. was so pissed off with her. Cant believe that i'm still hoping that things will change someday. Oh well, i hope that that someday wouldnt take so long to arrive, coz i'm at the tip of my patience already. One day u might even find a my face in the front page, "Girl Ran Away Leaving a Suicide Note". Hahha...as if, i wish man. Can become popular for a while. keke...anyway, when I was feeling really bad tat time, I baked myself a cake. It's a marble cake. A strawberry, chocolate marble cake to be precise. And it was perfect!!! The bottom's not burnt, there's no "tumor lumps" on the cake, it's not sunken and smell's nice too!!! I'm getting good at this. Next time, i plan to take orders for Hari Raya. But must perfect the skills first. Was gng to take a picture of the cake and post it here so that u all can drool over the cake...keke...but when i take a look at it todae, there's left only 1 small piece. Man...that was fast, i was hoping that it could last for at least a week.

Went to meet Ijal after that. I knoe it's already late and if i were to ask my mother for permission, all i get is a kick in my ass, so i did like wat my bros usually do, just walk out. Hehe..felt good actually when u do that once in awhile. Brought along a few piece of my cake for him to try, and its a good thing he didnt "pretend" vomitting and play dead. Coz if he were to do that, i would get the shovel for him. Went to eat pizza hut, (getting sick of that place) then we went SHOPPING!!! haha...bought myself a bag from Yellow. The person says that i was the first customer to buy that "new arrival" bag. hehe...It was nice lah, i really cant resist it. K i guess this month i haf enuf shopping already. Better resist the temptation before i go off my budget. Still need to save to get a digicam, preferably by my next payment.

So 1 ting i learned tat day was, life is always full of ups and downs. So when u're feeling down, always try to pull ureself up again instead of sulking over it.

Peace!!

love u sayang